


You Are My...

by floodlitesq



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, Reader dies, Really Heavy Angst..., be careful please i dont wanna accidentally hurt anyone, cheesy tho, could be read as platonic or romantic. go crazy friend, mentions blood, potentially triggering content, reader is a ghost. spooky huh?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 21:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13983441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floodlitesq/pseuds/floodlitesq
Summary: Koushi quite literally can't believe what's happening.-(Reader has recently died and her ghost is persisting for some reason. Koushi finds her in the woods.)





	You Are My...

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT REMINDER: PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING TILL THE END IT'S IMPORTANT TO THE STORYLINE  
> i used a lot of weird techniques in this, btw, it's kinda visual i guess? i've never used this before  
> as always, enjoy, and please leave feedback! i'd love to know how i can improve :)  
> -  
> HOTLINES :  
> Samaritans : 116 123  
> Childline : 0800 1111  
> Papyrus (for under 35s) : Call 0800 0684141 or text 07786 209697

Of all the places, Koushi had never suspected to meet you on a bridge in the middle of a forest.

You're sitting there, brooding, seemingly unconcerned that should you lose your balance, you’ll find yourself falling to your death.

His heart skips a beat.

“Get down from there!”

You look up, shocked, and catch Koushi’s concerned gaze. And then, because you're an idiot, you do lose your balance for a second and slip off, wobbling precariously- Koushi’s stomach vaults and for a dreadful, frozen second, he believes that the person he loves the most is going to fall. But- thank every God in existence- you don’t, and come sprinting over to him.

“How is this possible- I- I was-“

Koushi’s bewildered.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Oh no, no, no no no no, no, you can’t find out like this- it’s not fair, this isn’t fair-“ and you're sobbing suddenly, explosively, making as if to hold him, but you can’t. And Koushi, too, is distraught, trying to grab a hold of your shaking form.

But it’s impossible.

Like some sick horror-tragedy film, he quickly finds that his desperate grabs simply phase through your arms and body and collide against the wood of the bridge.

“What’s happened? What’s happened to you?” he cries. You're doing exactly the same; your eyes are red, swollen, and there are tear tracks on your face.

“I got jumped in an alley, they stabbed me, Koushi, it hurt, it hurt so much-“ and with a cold dread spreading over and clenching his lungs, he notices for the first time the red stains adorning your sweatshirt. He takes a step backwards, hands pressed to his mouth, and catches a glimpse of the wound. He desperately fights back the urge to vomit.

In a timid, shaking voice, you continue. Your legs have given out and you've sunk onto the floor of the bridge, gripping your arms and hugging yourself tightly.

“I never even saw them. I just remember falling over and trying to call the police, tell them what had happened, but I think- I don’t know, I just remember passing out and I ended up here, and I can’t seem to talk to anyone or anything and- and- you’re the first person who can see me, I cried for help _so many times_ -“

Koushi lets out a cry of despair, falling to his knees in front of you. His mouth is slack and he’s willing himself that this is a terrible dream, he’ll wake up soon with Asahi or Noya shoving a cheesecake at him or something-

“But how do you _know-_ “ Koushi’s desperate. This can’t be happening. This isn’t true. This isn’t right-

You laugh bitterly. The sound tears right through him. “I kept trying to leave here- something wouldn’t let me go anywhere aside from that- place- Koushi, I...” You gasp pitifully, swallowing, and continuing as if the words are tearing you apart: “I saw my body, and there was- and there was so much b- _blood_ -“

Cutting off your speech, you choke, unable to say another word. Koushi, wild-eyed, crushes the fabric of his shirt.

You swallow again, this time more laboriously.

“I was supposed to do so much more. I was supposed to get my degree and meet someone, and make so many beautiful things and- and fix things with my mom. I wasn’t supposed to die. Why is this happening? Koushi, I’m scared, K-Kou, I’m so scare…d, please, all I want is to touch someone-“

“I know, I know, I’m here, I’m here.”

And this time, he tries again to comfort you, who’s crying as stormily as he is, and to his relief finds that he can touch you. You're warm and a little wet from the tears, and you smell just like that perfume he gave you for Christmas- his heart breaks further, and he sinks his face into your shoulder. Remaining motionless, he savours the moment as much as he possibly can.

Koushi doesn’t know how much time passes, but you've stopped sobbing. You both have, just breathing and clutching the other like a lifeline.

Through the blurriness in your eyes and the heaviness of your limbs, you register a cold, trembling hand smoothing your hair off your forehead. A voice, steeped in dulcet tones, cracking and breaking at intervals, tries its best to keep you calm.

Koushi dimly sees a light, pale white, and shafts of it breeze past him, past the grass he’s sitting on, and silhouette the figure cradled in his arms.

It’s clustering around now, swirling around your neck and temples as if you're some kind of princess.

Who is he kidding? You are. You always were.

_You always will be._

“… sunshine, my only sunshine,” and in a failing voice, exhausted and strained with the ridiculousness of the situation, you start singing to Koushi, as if it’s the only thing that will keep you here.

He’s weeping openly now, he’s finally able to hold you again- for the last time- and you just keep singing, you’re both crying again and you're finding it harder and harder to breathe, let alone keep tune.

“I love you, I love you so much, please don’t leave me, I love you, _please,_ _I love you,_ ” Koushi gasps.

Your eyes fly wide, your voice breaks again, you try to sing and come up short, but your voice rasps pitifully. Fingers digging into Koushi's shirt, taking a deep breath, you close your eyes and muster up the strength for one last line. You relish the feel of tears on your face, Koushi in your arms and the sun on your face, the lights flickering past your lashes, and it’s like your first friend is there, and his teammates, and everyone who ever meant something to you is lending you strength. You don’t want to leave, you don’t want to go, you're scared, you don't want-

“… don’t take my sun…shine…“

Koushi's breath catches. Is this...

...

...

It is.

You never finish your sentence.

The notes born on your breath die past your lips, and you shatter into streams and darts and dashes of light, streaking past him up into the canopy of soft green leaves above.

There’s nothing left of you here now, nothing but the haunting memory of your voice in the air, a lilting, plaintive melody, the soft tremble of your breath as you tried to sing yourself to peace, your choking cries as you fought to keep your tears down-

-the warmth of your body, so real and yet so fragile, draped against him with all of your strength leaking out of your eyes in the form of liquid anguish.

Koushi sits there. He sits and he stares unblinkingly up at the trees and he prays as he’s never done before for this to all be a nightmare, a horrible nightmare, or maybe he’s gotten a concussion, _damn it Kageyama stop serving the ball so hard,_ he’s in a coma, anything, _anything_ if it would mean that he would come back-

-Koushi sits.

Koushi waits.

Nothing happens.

You don’t come back.

You don't come crashing through the green, you don’t come and grab him and laugh obnoxiously at another joke gone well, and he knows so well that he'd cry and laugh and hold you, hug you, and then yell at you because ' _Jesus, I was so scared! Don't ever do that to me again!'_.

Koushi sits and waits, and still you never come back.

 

You don't come back.

 

You don't come back.

 

You don't come back.

 

You don't come back.

 

You don't come back.

 

YOu don't come back.

 

 You don't come back .

 

You don't come back.

 

 You don't come back .

 

y ou d o n 't   co  m eb a          c k

 

y o u d o n ' t c o m e b a c k

 

y       o uuu do                               n' t                            co m                        e  b a                           ck

 

y ou                                           don                             '   t                         c o           m            e                       b                a c  k

 

y       o uuu do                               n' t                            co m                        e  b a                           ck

 

y ou                                           don                             '   t                         c o           m            e                       b                a c  k

            

c      om e                              b ac                                k,                                pl ea            s          e

 

c o m                       e ba             c    k                    t  o                        m                       e, p                le a                                            s         e

co m                       e ba

             c    k                    t  o                        m                       e, p                le a                                            s         e

 pl         ea        s                      e  

 

 p             l         ea                s                      e  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 please?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the first time, he is well and truly alone.


End file.
